What is my MOTIVATION?

So today as I walked to the train at 5:30am so that I could make it into work by 6:30am, I pondered on the thought - What is my motivation? This is a thought that I have contemplated for a while because of the intensity of my life. I work long hours and I am currently enrolled in grad school. These are the main activities that I do, while there are still more things I want to do, like be active in both my book clubs, be involved in groups and organizations that strike my interest and help my make an impact and still maintaining a health relationship with those that are apart of my life.

So I take a breath and wonder what is my motivation? Why am I doing this? I ask this because when you fall asleep late and wake up before the sun, you question why? You ask yourself this question in the middle of the day when someone at your job does something to you that takes you out of character. I ask myself this question when I fall asleep at family events or can't attend social events because I am too tired or there is still work that needs to be done.

So as I journeyed the two blocks I begin to list these motivations

• I need to pay my rent & bills
  
• I love my lifestyle (being able to pay my bills and have a little money to work with)
• who has been given much, much will be required - Luke 12:48
• I enjoy being able to do for those in my life
• STATS
  

As I listed all these things out and began to excogitate about these thoughts, I question which one of these is the driving force. As I entered into my 6pm class this evening, after doing a full days work and approaching 4hrs of class. I realize I do this because of STATS

What STATS?

Well the ones that say a child that looks like me and comes from the neighborhood I currently live in, have grown up in and my family lives in will not do well in grades K-12 and may never reach college and if they do even reach that level of education may not succeed and possibly drop out.

Is this a motivation that has a tangible conclusion like a nice paycheck, a week vacation in an all inclusive resort or even my debt being payed. No!

But it does increase myself worth. At the end of the day when I see that little boy smile at me, wave good bye and tell me he will see me tomorrow. That is when I get that little boost of energy to push to the next day.