Did You Tell Yourself You Were in Love Because You Didn't Want to be Alone??

So its 4 in the morning and I am the only person up in my uncle's beautiful home in Buffalo and all I can think about is relationships. It has been something that has been on my mind for quite a while now. While laying on the sofa I pondered the thought "did you tell yourself you were in love because you didn't want to be alone." Lets really think about this for a moment. I mean honestly that is a powerful thought. Being alone is a heavy thing. We use it as a punishment in our culture. You mess up in school go stand in the corner alone, in jail you go to solitary. Hell I am sitting here in this room alone and I know there are 12 other people in this house sleep and I am still bothered by the thought of loneliness.

I mean lets think about it we are taught at a young age that we need support. But I guess my question is at what length do we go to get that support? Where do you find this support? Culture gives us this impression that you must find a help mate in order to succeed(this isn't just with romantic relationships). But what makes a good help mate? How do you determine that this help mate is the one for a lifetime?

Then once you figure that out then there are so many other questions like .... are we suppose to look for love or help/support. If you do look for help/support does love come after or is it the other way around?

The reason I ask this is because I have been told make a list of the things you want, need and are deal breakers in a man and look for that. Ok great sooo here is one vote for looking for support first. Then I have been told when you see him you will know because you will feel butterflies, but how do you tell butterflies from gas. I mean honestly.

But I can't help but think that its suppose to be support then love. Here is the early morning rainy wisdom....

Lets just look at the ying and the yang they are opposite halves that create a balance(a circle). That is what any good relationship should be, two opposites that have certain similarities bonding together. I believe that every partner has to bring its opposites however there also has to be some similarities.

But if this is true how do we mess up and find ourselves dealing with this issue telling yourself you were in love because you didn't want to be alone???

Well I believe the problem can come in different ways. One is that we fall in love without considering if a person is the true ying to our yang. You become blinded and don't really consider the issues, problems you might face with bonding with this person. Some people are not falling in love with the whole person, sometimes you fall in love with just their potential, their current status, sex, their Representative(figure out how to decode that) and I can go on.

Another issue is some have been attacked by the idea of solitary confinement and stand on the idea that every happily ever after has to end with you and your prince. Get over the Disney fairy tale, pick up a book and read the Brothers Grimm, you might feel different. Please don't get me wrong, I want my Disney fairy tale wedding however I also have accepted that if its God's will for me to be alone, then its his will and lets move on to phase two of his glorious plan.

In addition some just don't have patience. You are tired of waiting for the ying to your yang and you can't figure out how to be alone. Some of y'all heard the promise from God that he has a special prince charming that is gonna be everything that is on your list and more. However, you decided to settle for a square because you don't want to be alone. You sat and told yourself your in love because the idea of holding onto that body pillow one more time gave you heartburn. So you told your heart this is the one, when you know he is not meeting the full promise from God.

DANGEROUS!!! My family says that a ring solidifies that your "in love." Its the sign that you are balanced. However some are settling on their concept of being "in love" with no balance. Now you need that sign of balance and that symbol of love/balance does not have to be a ring. Please believe a ring does not mean love, I personally think it is a sign of I am too scared to lose you. I personally believe that everyone sign of balance is different. That symbol, sign or moment where you know that this is right. That point where you can always look back and not question.

I guess the overall thought is find the person who equals you because ying and yang are equal parts that just create a big circle of balance.