So it is 3:30 in the morning and I am pondering why am I still up. My mind is going and I can't get it to quiet. Finding a job, crochet patterns, family vacation, Irene, getting caught up on tasks, and the list can go on. But these are the same things that have been going through my head all day so what is the real issue. Friendship.....
Recently I have been dealing with a lot of different aspects of friendships - losing them, vagueness , initiating them and developing them.
A couple of Sundays ago a pastor preached about being a hoarder or a harvester in a relationship. A hoarder takes and doesn't give and a harvester reaps from your life but also plants. Recently I have been asking myself what type of friend am I and what type of friend do I want to be. I also have been questioning how do I want my friends to remember me. These questions have cause me to question the roles of others in my life.
When I think of myself I try to make sure that I am a harvester. I want my relationships to be a place where both parties are growing and are encouraged. However, I know this is not true. Sometimes we get connected with people who hoard. Having someone who hoards in your life is destructive, especially with a harvester.
With that said, I realize that there are certain people in my life that I have to let go. It has been bugging me for the past couple of weeks because I don't want to let them go, however I am not bring anything to the relationship, where there is no growth you gotta cut it lose. I have questioned why am I still communicating with these people, simply put I gather a level of security from them. I have been taught you don't burn bridges and I pray I'm not however I know I 'm personally hurting myself because I feel I can't move forward. It hurts because these people have been there for me through some of the hardest things I have dealt with, but the saying is reason, season and lifetime. I think these people are just seasonal.
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