While in church two Sundays ago, the preacher talked about going back to the balanced relationship with Christ and cultivating that relationship. It was a sermon that hit home for me because lately I haven't felt very balanced.
To be quite honest I have felt like my life is very erratic. The past couple of weeks I have tried to find a balance in not leaving my home(resulted in a lot of tears and over thinking) or spending a lot of time with family and friends(resulted in smiles, giggles and still a lot of over thinking).
But as I sat in my bed Saturday night, I was awaken out of my sleep at around 3:15am(I was pissed bc I was dreaming about a very sexy chocolate man). I tossed and turned for about and an hour and half. During that time I contemplated where my life was going, what was the impact I wanted to have, commitments I had made and my previous relationship with Christ. Some how I found sleep but woke with a fresh feeling in the morning.
When I woke I realized that I had not kept my commitment. When I walked into 2011 I said I would read the Bible in the year. With this fresh realization I picked up my one year Bible and looked at where I had left off. I had to shake my head. The date that looked back at me was April 17th. It hit me like a brick, I had dropped the ball... But the crazier part was I had put down my Bible for Harry Potter.
At the beginning of April I decided to start on the Harry Potter journey and I completed it at the end June(I read all 7 books). When I started on the journey I weak commitment to self that I would keep with the Read my scriptures first and all entertainment reading follows. This commitment was hard to keep with the end of grad school around the corner and beginning the process of searching for a job.
With the recent revelation I did not allow myself to sulk in my mistake, I refocused and I picked up a calender and made a new commitment with myself. I decided with my recent situation there is no reason I can't vow to be up to date by Sept. 1st. I know that I can accomplish this.
As I also looked at the date I also realized around that time I started to feel unbalanced. Reading the word in the morning was a constant reminder for me that things may not always be perfect but God is in control. The 30minutes I took out my day in the morning to fellowship with God, set the tone for my day. In the 4 months I didn't have perfection however I had a level of balance. It's my hope that as I go back on this walk I reclaim this balance.
I will update on Sept. 1st.
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